Ode to the Spanish mail system

You SUCK.

You have held my package, containing my fancy Japanese chef knives and borrowed laptop in limbo for TOO LONG. You SUCK.

You answer calls with a sneer, and customer service for you is an oxymoron tantamount to military intelligence. You SUCK!

You view customers as a nuisance to your occupation; something standing between you and your 7th cigarette of the day… at 10 AM. You SUCK!!

Even when you are wrong (as if the customer could ever be right here), you simply feign disinterest and sneer in contempt. You SUCK!!!

In conclusion, please give me my package. You SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

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